Truly...Are you dying to leave a good legacy?

Want to know how to do it?

So many of my clients are at the stage of their lives where their focus is on leaving a good legacy.  Isn’t this what all of us want? To be remembered fondly...to make an impact...to build something.

While these are very admirable goals (and ones that I find myself thinking of often), I have discovered that leaving a legacy means something slightly different for everyone. 

Most of us focus on building and creating so that when we are gone people remember us.  We focus on the external...not the internal.

What do people actually remember about us after we have moved on?  

Do they remember what we did...or who we were?

One of my clients mentioned that some of the most memorable individuals within the organization were not necessarily the top performers. The reason they are memorable is because they are a nice person who is kind to everyone. It’s about who they are vs. what they do.

Hmmm...

While this seems crazy to those of us who are driven to slay the big dragons, there may be something to this.

Leaving a legacy isn’t just about doing something, it is about being someone.  People don’t just remember what you did...they remember how you did it, and who you were while doing it. 

Legacy is about who you are being while accomplishing your tasks, it’s about interpersonal relationships. It’s about having an impact on the way people think. 

Life is so much bigger than our need to prove our worth...so much bigger than controlling a business outcome...so much bigger than just the bottom line. 

Life is really about being an inspiration to those around you through your actions.

Ask yourself:

• Who are you being each day? 
• What imprint are you leaving on others? 
• How do you make your contribution?

I have yet to attend a funeral where work accomplishments were the main focus. 

I know I want my eulogy to be about the positive impact I was able to make in people’s lives – and not just the bottom line. 

How about you?

Start to think about life as your vehicle to express who you truly are and the positive ripple effect you leave when you walk out of a room.  If your actions connect with another and inspire them in any way, you have left a positive legacy. 

You are leaving a legacy every single day of your life...in every moment. What legacy do you want to leave...starting today?

John F. Kennedy said: "There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable inaction.”

It is only by being “in action” that we can create the results we want in life, including the creation of an extraordinary life experience and results.

What keeps you from taking action?  

Generally it's because you try to be reasonable. You think it through.  You stick your toe in the water.  You check out how others react.  All very reasonable steps to take and I'm certainly not advocating that you do dangerous things.  It's just that by being reasonable you run the risk of being distracted by events that have more enjoyment or short-term importance and you get off the track toward what you really want to create.

The shift to commitment!

When you are committed you deal with what's most important to you in your life.  As my young adult children would say … DUHHH!  It’s so obvious!  

For example, imagine knocking on a house door and getting no response, though you feel certain someone is home. You wait a reasonable amount of time, then leave.

Now imagine there is a raging fire being wind driven across the yard towards that same house.  Your urgency, your compassion and demand for a result is engaged.  You bang on the door while shouting, "Fire! Get out!"  Your level of commitment brings action that brings the occupants quickly to the door and their lives are saved.

But what if there is no emergency in your life? What if no external force shouts you into action consistent with your priorities? Then where does your commitment come from?  

Creating an extraordinary life requires a 100% commitment. Not 99%. 

In practice, 99% is the same as zero.  Only 100% commitment will actually bring you the results you want in life.  Find a purpose, vision and the actions that deserve a 100% commitment and your entire experience of life will change.  Helen Keller said “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”  I suggest that her life is clearly a model of an extraordinary life we could all learn from.

A less serious metaphor is that a woman is either pregnant or not pregnant.  There’s no such thing as 99% pregnant.  In our lives, we are committed 100% or we are not.  There’s no “half committed.”

My commitment to you includes asking some pointed questions so that you can put these ideas into action:

• What are you committed to this month, this year, in your life?
• What life purpose or vision is so important to you that it engages you at physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels? 
• What promise would cause you to tingle with excitement and anticipation? 
• What idea would not let go of you until you figured it out? 
• What action would automatically bring forth overwhelmingly positive feelings of joy and satisfaction? 
• What commitment would mean so much that it would resonate within you at a very deep level; wake you up in the morning; engage you fully?

Comment and let us know of your commitments, your process and your results!  Doing so will help you get more clear, acknowledge yourself and inspire all of us!

Robert White is a Transformational Architect for business executives. Founder and CEO of Lifespring, ARC International and Extraordinary People, He’s an experienced entrepreneur, professional speaker, and leadership team trainer.


Want to learn more about gaining powerful leadership skills?

This program can help! Coaching In The Workplace



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Quick…

What one skill is the most important for a manager?

Are you sure?...

It’s coaching!

What about all the technical stuff? Spreadsheets, product knowledge, etc.?

It ALL takes a back seat to coaching.  Here’s why…

Human Capital (your people) is more important than all of the technical stuff combined. They are your most important asset. They are the biggest line item of your budget. Shouldn’t you treat them as the most precious asset that they are?

Huh? Have you really thought about that? Better start thinking now…

Because, according to a recent poll:

• 51% of your best people are actively looking for another job! The simple truth is that if you coached them they wouldn’t be.

• According to a recent Gallop Poll, employee engagement levels in North America are an abysmal 30%.

How much money do you think that is costing your firm?

• In the U.S. alone it’s costing organizations $360 BILLION a year!

Coaching can help with all of these issues…and if you have coaching skills it can help you look like a rock star!

According to a recent Harvard survey, "Coaching skills for managers is the most important skill required for success in the next 10 years."

Got it?

Now, what are you going to do about it?  It’s only your career…

 

This program can help! Coaching In The Workplace



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Note from the author: I wrote this a number of years ago - mostly as a journaling exercise to remember this experience. I wanted to share it now to hopefully inspire some of you who may be going through some tough times. You have what it takes to work through anything!

It was 20 degrees with freezing rain pelting the streets. At almost 8,000 ft. high in the mountains of Colorado ice storms are extremely rare. Colorado is usually blessed with dry powder and minimal ice…but not this night. Undetectable black ice covered everything. We later found out that the conditions were some of the worst ever experienced.

We were returning home from a Halloween party with our two children. The first slip on the ice coming out of the party was an early warning that the ride home would be challenging. We safely navigated the roads until we reached the top of the hill leading to our home. 

Nestled on a north facing slope, the road received the brunt of the ice storm before many other streets. It was truly like an ice skating rink. As we turned to descend the hill I put the car in its lowest gear and started to crawl towards home.

It's impossible to describe the terror I felt as the car began to slide sideways. While we were only going 2-3 miles per hour I was helpless to stop the car. Gravity pulled our family toward the 20 ft. embankment that dropped off from the road. The few seconds that it took to roll down that hill were the longest of our lives.

When my head cleared we were upside down. Immediately, my wife Kathryn and I were calling for the kids to make sure they were o.k. In retrospect, the level of calmness that we displayed was for a vital reason. The front part of the roof was crushed in so Kathryn and I had to crawl out of an opening that was only a foot high, the remnants of her door.

In these brief moments we all found out what we were made of. We marshaled personal courage and resources that we previously didn't know we possessed.

Our daughter Taylor, who was riding in the third row seat, miraculously freed herself from her upside down perch and crawled over the back seat to rescue her brother. While she was battered, bruised, and bleeding, her only thought was to get her much younger brother to safety. That she did.

In a heartbeat Kathryn was running through the frozen knee high grass to get to a neighbors house to call 911. She didn't seem to notice that her shoes had been knocked off in the crash. She felt no pain. Only later would she realize the level of agony that she must have endured as evidenced by her bruises and blood stained clothes.

I crawled around the car to reach the doors leading to our children. I grabbed the back door and pulled with all my might. I pulled so hard that the entire door handle came off in my hand. The door was crushed and would not open. I moved to the other door and again pulled with the strength that one would never normally possess. Again, the door handle came back with my hand…but this time the door opened with it.

In short order we were all huddled in the grass next to the car. We checked each other over.  We were miraculously spared any major injuries. While we were bruised - mentally and physically, we were blessed with the greatest gift of all - our lives.

I must admit as I write this that there are many emotions that I have had to revisit. Two major things are going to stick with me for the rest of my life. 

•   Live each day to its fullest - carpe diem!
•   Be thankful for all that you have…take the time to count your blessings.

I know that I do so now with zeal and gratitude as never before.

I am still amazed at the almost super human efforts that were demonstrated that night. This serves to inspire me in so many ways.

If we are capable of doing what may be perceived as "super human" feats in adrenaline packed situations, is there a way to tap into that potential? 

Believe me, I'm not advocating going through what we did. I am challenging myself (and hopefully you too) to dispel the self imposed limitations that may have shackled all of us. We are all capable of so much more than we may think. We possess a great deal more than our levels of confidence may be letting us demonstrate.

I was blessed enough to glimpse true human potential fulfilled. I am convinced that we are all capable of realizing our inherent greatness.

I kept one of the door handles to serve as a constant reminder of our blessings…and also what I am capable of. I now know more than ever what is possible!

QUESTION: What challenge have you overcome that would inspire others to hear about?  Please share a comment below. We would love to hear from you!

 


© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.
~Leonardo da Vinci

Remember recent experiences of excitement and childlike joy with new experiences, such as with nature, traveling to a new country, or engaging a new idea.  

Mastery retains the spirit of our beginner’s mind, as we experience things in childhood with an openness, a first time freshness without preconceived ideas and developed notions influenced by others, when we were totally receptive to new information.  

One of the ultimate impediments to creativity is when a successful process becomes a paradigm, an established procedure. Subsequently, the paradigm and a lifeless set of techniques are followed that then move from new and vibrant to conformity and rote procedure.

The desire to fit into the needs or wants of others, to accumulate all the voices internalized from others, including parents and significant others without amalgamating and transforming them into your own voice creates conformity.

To consistently oppose positions or authority, to counter convention or rules, are an antithesis of mastery, as each embody an external point of reference.

Both opposition and conformity occupy the same prison.

Creating a new story can reengage that beginner’s mind.  We do that by remaining open, asking questions, embracing childlike excitement and playful approach, and thinking beyond words and limitations.  This creative reverie accesses preverbal and unconscious forms of mental activity that generates surprising ideas and creativity. 

We must sustain the risk of failing and the anticipation of being criticized in order to expand beyond the familiar and habitual way of thinking.  Hindrances to this process include a pressure to produce results, a need to generate profits, or a fear of inadequacy or non-productivity.  

A powerful sense of purpose and passion can sustain setbacks and failures.  A deep-rooted interest sustains the rigors of hard work to get to creative action.  It allows you to surpass doubters, critics, non-believers.  

Creative brainstorming, to allow imagination to soar, catalyzes imagination and intuition.  Deduction and logical thought are components of a different mindset, not to be interspersed with this creative time.  Each is valuable, yet each is a different state of mind, much like creative writing and editing. 

Read more about Dr. Dave Krueger here.

---

One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.
~Leonardo da Vinci

Our uniqueness is a seed planted at birth that seeks growth, transformation, and flowering to its full potential. This innate force, an intrinsic motivation to be effective, is the bedrock of our driving force as humans.

I have observed videos of direct infant observation studies by Psychoanalysts Virginia Demos and later Joyce McDougall showing that infants as early as three months old have an intrinsic desire to be effective in their environment. When they do, they experience pleasure at mastery. This fundamental motivation permeates everything we do, and extends for a lifetime.

When Albert Einstein was five years old, his father gave him a compass as a present. Its needle that changed directions as he moved the compass about instantly transfixed him. The idea of an invisible magnetic force touched him to his core. He would later wonder about other forces in the world similarly invisible and equally powerful. This simple question of hidden forces and fields became his life's work. He acknowledged often thinking back to the compass that sparked his initial fascination.

John Coltrane experienced spiritual and emotional longings that he did not know how to verbalize. As he drifted into music as a hobby, he played saxophone with his high school band. He later heard the great jazz saxophonist Charlie "Bird" Parker perform live. The sounds he heard touched Coltrane's primal core. Coltrane desired to find a way to effectively express his uniqueness to give voice to these deep emotions. As he focused on this form of expression, his personal mastery was to become one of the greatest jazz artists of his era, and of all time.

These are the kinds of discoveries that James Hillman speaks of in The Soul's Code as the spark that ignites a life calling.

At times we may disregard or lose touch with these signals from our central core. When we listen or we connect with this primal core, this visceral reaction resonates with our authentic self. Perhaps even a life's purpose.

At times, we may be attracted to a false path for the wrong reasons: conforming to directives from parents, social pressures of conformity, focusing on money, attention, or fame. We ultimately recognize this as an ersatz effectiveness, a false mastery. Results can include dissatisfaction, burnout, a sense that something is missing, or even a blatant resentment.

One of the common features of those who have become true masters is the awareness of experiencing the world differently than others and finding a way to express that uniqueness.


Read more about Dr. Dave Krueger here.

I excitedly retrieved my monthly auto magazine from the mail this afternoon.

For me, the contents usually represent nothing but eye candy, machines I will never have the opportunity to enjoy.

Until today that thought never really bothered me, but it is a sad, sad commentary on where I find myself…

My mindset stinks!  I suspect yours might too…

Here I am, someone others engage to help with their mindset – to lead them through the process of overcoming their self-created obstacles, which I do exceptionally well (he says humbly). I have a file full of amazing client success stories to validate this. Yet, I suddenly became aware that I was buying into a thinking small mindset—something that I help others work on each day. What???

As I looked through that magazine and felt the guilt, remorse, and disappointment of never actualizing some of my dreams, I realized that at present, I was not worthy of my dreams. Something had to change…and I knew it started with my thoughts.

While I know that my core is good, solid, dependable, and full of love and joy, I was not realizing my full self with this kind of thinking. I realized that I was going to have to think much bigger to support my dreams. I knew that I had to focus even harder on working from the inside out.

There was a time in my life where this was not the case…a time where I felt worthy of anything. I saw no barriers…only opportunities. How did I let that slip away?

It’s high time I find that mindset again.  Not only for me, but for those whom I serve as well.  I must be worthy of the faith and trust they have in me to assist them along their journey. I need to lead by example again.

Right now, my mindset is not worthy of my dreams.  I have a discipline level that is not worthy of my dreams.  With this awareness I know how to make the changes I need to.

Do you need to change your mindset? Are you playing small? Is it time to actualize your dreams?

I’ll be working extra hard to make sure the following quote won’t ever apply to me again.  Will you?

“Long before you reach the limits of your skills, you’ll come up against the limits of you!” – Pace Klein.

I now anxiously await next month’s issue knowing that my recalibrated mindset will view each page through a “possibility” lens.



©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Do you spend a great deal of energy trying to make things perfect?

You can’t let go of this project until it’s perfect...

You can’t have this discussion until your comments are perfectly rehearsed...

You can’t move forward until you know how it will all play out... 

Really? 

How much of your energy is spent thinking, and re-thinking, about the action you want to take?  How much time are you wasting working toward perfection?

Has being perfect become an excuse for you? Perfection can move from a need, to a wonderful excuse for not moving forward, in the blink of an eye.  Lack of perfectionism isn’t about being lazy or doing things half way, it’s about understanding the natural progression some things take.  How are we possibly going to know how a situation will play out unless we make our first move?

If you are spending too much time analyzing and rehashing the situation, you are stuck in your thinking mind.  This loop will create zero momentum.   Step out of your thinking mind and connect to your higher vision...and take inspired action!

Inspired action is based upon trust. Trust in your instincts. Trust in your talent. Trust in the fact that everything will be o.k. Take action based upon knowing these things.

Our thinking mind, the one that loves perfection, can truly limit your grow---and success. Yes, you may fail at some things. Yet you will never have any chance of success unless you take action. Any action equals progress.

And remember, there is really no such thing as being perfect. Be perfectly happy knowing that.

To your continued success!

There’s an old saying- “An old man can see backward better than a young man can see forward.”

What can we learn from the old man? How does writing your own eulogy sound? Come on, stay with me on this…

How would your eulogy sound if you died today? “He had such promise.” “She wanted to be a senator, but...” “He dreamed of ___, too bad he died before he could do it.”

How would your perfect eulogy sound? What would your legacy be? How many lives would you want to have positively affected? Did you achieve the dreams you had when you were young? Did you fulfill your life’s purpose?

Stonewall Jackson said on his deathbed- “Let me cross the river and rest under the tree.” What would you most regret not doing before you “rested under the tree?” 

I submit that nothing, absolutely nothing, is stopping you from leading the life of your dreams but yourself!

We should all leave with no regrets. Wouldn’t it be better to try and (so called) fail then to regret not trying? How would it feel to leave a truly positive mark on the world before you go? Well, you can!

Here’s an exercise for you. Make a list right now of 10 things that you really want to do before you die. Yep, your bucket list…but with a higher purpose than things like “visit Toledo.” The list could include things as simple as “inspire one person” or as noble as “start a nonprofit foundation.” The key is to commit to something!

Now write your eulogy based upon this list. Think about how people would remember you. Yeah, this can get pretty raw and that’s the point. You need to face your current reality in order to change your course. Remember, it is never too late to work on fulfilling your dreams. Start today!

I’ve been using this eulogy exercise for many years to keep my goals fresh and to stay focused on my big picture - my life’s work. It forces me to slow down and take inventory of the trajectory of my life. I don’t want to wait to take inventory when I’m on my death bed. Do you?

One thing on my “list” is my mission to serve people through coaching. If I can inspire just one person to be a better leader and person I will have achieved my goal. Hopefully this article will help. My eulogy is counting on it!

May your real eulogy be a long time coming!

Our Founder and CEO, Drayton Boylston, is once again honored to be presenting at WBECS this year with the likes of John Maxwell, Marshall Goldsmith, and many other esteemed colleagues. Please join us for 30 complimentary pre summit sessions. All sessions are "no pitch," which we love. Pure content. Pure growth.

Here's the link to enroll for the FREE sessions: http://wbecs.com/partner/a/wbecs2014/a2113 




One of the primary goals of The Executive Coaching University is to promote the best practices in our profession. Additionally, we want to raise the awareness and standards of coaching worldwide. 

With that desire, we have partnered with the well respected World Business and Executive Coaching Summit to bring the leaders in the coaching industry together to provide a no charge, no pitch, educational experience.

WBECS offers an outstanding professional growth opportunity. It brings together the thought leaders of the coaching world to share their knowledge and experience with practicing, and aspiring, coaches.

You can get your complimentary pass here: http://wbecs.com/partner/a/wbecs2014/a2113

The presenters are diverse and first rate. They include:

John C. Maxwell: One of the top coaches on the concept of leadership.

Dr. Marshall Goldsmith: One of the top thought leaders in the field of management. 

Frances Hesselbein: Presidential Medal of Freedom Recipient and President of the Drucker Foundation.

Last year, hundreds of professional coaches gave testimonials as to the value of the conference.  That is why we not only endorse this conference but will also be providing a discount for you to attend the full summit. We will send you details about this next month. For now, be sure to register for the complimentary pre-summit series here: http://wbecs.com/partner/a/wbecs2014/a2113

You’ll be able to attend all 30 sessions live or listen to the recordings at your convenience.

Once again, here is the link to join the complimentary sessions: http://wbecs.com/partner/a/wbecs2014/a2113

Enjoy!