Note from the author: I wrote this a number of years ago - mostly as a journaling exercise to remember this experience. I wanted to share it now to hopefully inspire some of you who may be going through some tough times. You have what it takes to work through anything!

It was 20 degrees with freezing rain pelting the streets. At almost 8,000 ft. high in the mountains of Colorado ice storms are extremely rare. Colorado is usually blessed with dry powder and minimal ice…but not this night. Undetectable black ice covered everything. We later found out that the conditions were some of the worst ever experienced.

We were returning home from a Halloween party with our two children. The first slip on the ice coming out of the party was an early warning that the ride home would be challenging. We safely navigated the roads until we reached the top of the hill leading to our home. 

Nestled on a north facing slope, the road received the brunt of the ice storm before many other streets. It was truly like an ice skating rink. As we turned to descend the hill I put the car in its lowest gear and started to crawl towards home.

It's impossible to describe the terror I felt as the car began to slide sideways. While we were only going 2-3 miles per hour I was helpless to stop the car. Gravity pulled our family toward the 20 ft. embankment that dropped off from the road. The few seconds that it took to roll down that hill were the longest of our lives.

When my head cleared we were upside down. Immediately, my wife Kathryn and I were calling for the kids to make sure they were o.k. In retrospect, the level of calmness that we displayed was for a vital reason. The front part of the roof was crushed in so Kathryn and I had to crawl out of an opening that was only a foot high, the remnants of her door.

In these brief moments we all found out what we were made of. We marshaled personal courage and resources that we previously didn't know we possessed.

Our daughter Taylor, who was riding in the third row seat, miraculously freed herself from her upside down perch and crawled over the back seat to rescue her brother. While she was battered, bruised, and bleeding, her only thought was to get her much younger brother to safety. That she did.

In a heartbeat Kathryn was running through the frozen knee high grass to get to a neighbors house to call 911. She didn't seem to notice that her shoes had been knocked off in the crash. She felt no pain. Only later would she realize the level of agony that she must have endured as evidenced by her bruises and blood stained clothes.

I crawled around the car to reach the doors leading to our children. I grabbed the back door and pulled with all my might. I pulled so hard that the entire door handle came off in my hand. The door was crushed and would not open. I moved to the other door and again pulled with the strength that one would never normally possess. Again, the door handle came back with my hand…but this time the door opened with it.

In short order we were all huddled in the grass next to the car. We checked each other over.  We were miraculously spared any major injuries. While we were bruised - mentally and physically, we were blessed with the greatest gift of all - our lives.

I must admit as I write this that there are many emotions that I have had to revisit. Two major things are going to stick with me for the rest of my life. 

•   Live each day to its fullest - carpe diem!
•   Be thankful for all that you have…take the time to count your blessings.

I know that I do so now with zeal and gratitude as never before.

I am still amazed at the almost super human efforts that were demonstrated that night. This serves to inspire me in so many ways.

If we are capable of doing what may be perceived as "super human" feats in adrenaline packed situations, is there a way to tap into that potential? 

Believe me, I'm not advocating going through what we did. I am challenging myself (and hopefully you too) to dispel the self imposed limitations that may have shackled all of us. We are all capable of so much more than we may think. We possess a great deal more than our levels of confidence may be letting us demonstrate.

I was blessed enough to glimpse true human potential fulfilled. I am convinced that we are all capable of realizing our inherent greatness.

I kept one of the door handles to serve as a constant reminder of our blessings…and also what I am capable of. I now know more than ever what is possible!

QUESTION: What challenge have you overcome that would inspire others to hear about?  Please share a comment below. We would love to hear from you!

 


© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Leadership requires a wide range of skills, understanding, and awareness. And it starts with an objective personal assessment of all of these.

As we look to organizations, we do so with the understanding that in every organization there is a current “leadership lid.”  Nothing brings forward the current leadership’s lid as much as change does.

Leadership is often made or broken by the trials of experiencing change. Leaders rarely acknowledge the toll that leading change takes on them personally. The personal impact can be enormous.

Executives find a way to adapt to new business situations such as establishing a start-up, growing a business, negotiating mergers and acquisitions, downsizing, or restructuring. Yet many are ill equipped to deal with the obvious personal dimension of executive leadership, especially when faced with change. Thankfully, there are preparations that one can take to ensure success.

Before we embrace change we must look objectively at ourselves by asking some tough questions:

• How do I limit the organization? 
• Does my current view of my leadership team limit their progress?
• What blind spots of mine are hindering the organization’s performance?
• What personality characteristics of mine hurt the organization as it faces change?

Questions such as these are necessary to develop our own internal understanding of how well we will lead others through change. 

It is about nurturing our ability to get beyond our own set of thinking, which is based on experience…and may not be steeped in reality.

Stop and ask yourself: How well am I leading through change and what is the impact it is having on me personally?

A common assumption is that a leader can go through a “change” and not be affected by it. This is simply not the case. 

The rules of the game are uncertain and may have to be developed along the way. As the context and assumptions of the situation are changing, understanding and clarifying our habitual behaviors is critical. 

Factors such as mission, initiatives, goals, and priorities will ensure that the basis of the change is appropriate and that it does indeed solve the “right problems.” Many organizational changes are initiated based on false assumptions and understanding – our blind spots. These surface due to a lack of personal awareness.

A leader’s primary role must therefore be to test and validate that the changes will lead to an improved state…for all parties, not just themselves.

The leader that aspires to lead change must often be the first to be transformed in order to lead the change in question. He or she must also assess how their mind-set will have to be transformed by the very change that they are expecting others to experience. At an emotional and visceral level, they must be able to understand how this change will impact themselves before they attempt to lead others through it.

Leaders must have a strong sense of self-awareness prior to leading any change initiative. Knowing one’s strengths and constraints can create a conviction of informed optimism that can infect, motivate, and mobilize others. In contrast, those who plunge head long without a deliberate personal change plan will often find themselves questioning their abilities and commitment in the midst of the change…as will those whom they lead.

Identify your blinds spots and change yourself first in order to help lead others through change. It’s your duty as a leader.

To your continued success!



©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.
~Leonardo da Vinci

Remember recent experiences of excitement and childlike joy with new experiences, such as with nature, traveling to a new country, or engaging a new idea.  

Mastery retains the spirit of our beginner’s mind, as we experience things in childhood with an openness, a first time freshness without preconceived ideas and developed notions influenced by others, when we were totally receptive to new information.  

One of the ultimate impediments to creativity is when a successful process becomes a paradigm, an established procedure. Subsequently, the paradigm and a lifeless set of techniques are followed that then move from new and vibrant to conformity and rote procedure.

The desire to fit into the needs or wants of others, to accumulate all the voices internalized from others, including parents and significant others without amalgamating and transforming them into your own voice creates conformity.

To consistently oppose positions or authority, to counter convention or rules, are an antithesis of mastery, as each embody an external point of reference.

Both opposition and conformity occupy the same prison.

Creating a new story can reengage that beginner’s mind.  We do that by remaining open, asking questions, embracing childlike excitement and playful approach, and thinking beyond words and limitations.  This creative reverie accesses preverbal and unconscious forms of mental activity that generates surprising ideas and creativity. 

We must sustain the risk of failing and the anticipation of being criticized in order to expand beyond the familiar and habitual way of thinking.  Hindrances to this process include a pressure to produce results, a need to generate profits, or a fear of inadequacy or non-productivity.  

A powerful sense of purpose and passion can sustain setbacks and failures.  A deep-rooted interest sustains the rigors of hard work to get to creative action.  It allows you to surpass doubters, critics, non-believers.  

Creative brainstorming, to allow imagination to soar, catalyzes imagination and intuition.  Deduction and logical thought are components of a different mindset, not to be interspersed with this creative time.  Each is valuable, yet each is a different state of mind, much like creative writing and editing. 

Read more about Dr. Dave Krueger here.

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One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.
~Leonardo da Vinci

Our uniqueness is a seed planted at birth that seeks growth, transformation, and flowering to its full potential. This innate force, an intrinsic motivation to be effective, is the bedrock of our driving force as humans.

I have observed videos of direct infant observation studies by Psychoanalysts Virginia Demos and later Joyce McDougall showing that infants as early as three months old have an intrinsic desire to be effective in their environment. When they do, they experience pleasure at mastery. This fundamental motivation permeates everything we do, and extends for a lifetime.

When Albert Einstein was five years old, his father gave him a compass as a present. Its needle that changed directions as he moved the compass about instantly transfixed him. The idea of an invisible magnetic force touched him to his core. He would later wonder about other forces in the world similarly invisible and equally powerful. This simple question of hidden forces and fields became his life's work. He acknowledged often thinking back to the compass that sparked his initial fascination.

John Coltrane experienced spiritual and emotional longings that he did not know how to verbalize. As he drifted into music as a hobby, he played saxophone with his high school band. He later heard the great jazz saxophonist Charlie "Bird" Parker perform live. The sounds he heard touched Coltrane's primal core. Coltrane desired to find a way to effectively express his uniqueness to give voice to these deep emotions. As he focused on this form of expression, his personal mastery was to become one of the greatest jazz artists of his era, and of all time.

These are the kinds of discoveries that James Hillman speaks of in The Soul's Code as the spark that ignites a life calling.

At times we may disregard or lose touch with these signals from our central core. When we listen or we connect with this primal core, this visceral reaction resonates with our authentic self. Perhaps even a life's purpose.

At times, we may be attracted to a false path for the wrong reasons: conforming to directives from parents, social pressures of conformity, focusing on money, attention, or fame. We ultimately recognize this as an ersatz effectiveness, a false mastery. Results can include dissatisfaction, burnout, a sense that something is missing, or even a blatant resentment.

One of the common features of those who have become true masters is the awareness of experiencing the world differently than others and finding a way to express that uniqueness.


Read more about Dr. Dave Krueger here.

I excitedly retrieved my monthly auto magazine from the mail this afternoon.

For me, the contents usually represent nothing but eye candy, machines I will never have the opportunity to enjoy.

Until today that thought never really bothered me, but it is a sad, sad commentary on where I find myself…

My mindset stinks!  I suspect yours might too…

Here I am, someone others engage to help with their mindset – to lead them through the process of overcoming their self-created obstacles, which I do exceptionally well (he says humbly). I have a file full of amazing client success stories to validate this. Yet, I suddenly became aware that I was buying into a thinking small mindset—something that I help others work on each day. What???

As I looked through that magazine and felt the guilt, remorse, and disappointment of never actualizing some of my dreams, I realized that at present, I was not worthy of my dreams. Something had to change…and I knew it started with my thoughts.

While I know that my core is good, solid, dependable, and full of love and joy, I was not realizing my full self with this kind of thinking. I realized that I was going to have to think much bigger to support my dreams. I knew that I had to focus even harder on working from the inside out.

There was a time in my life where this was not the case…a time where I felt worthy of anything. I saw no barriers…only opportunities. How did I let that slip away?

It’s high time I find that mindset again.  Not only for me, but for those whom I serve as well.  I must be worthy of the faith and trust they have in me to assist them along their journey. I need to lead by example again.

Right now, my mindset is not worthy of my dreams.  I have a discipline level that is not worthy of my dreams.  With this awareness I know how to make the changes I need to.

Do you need to change your mindset? Are you playing small? Is it time to actualize your dreams?

I’ll be working extra hard to make sure the following quote won’t ever apply to me again.  Will you?

“Long before you reach the limits of your skills, you’ll come up against the limits of you!” – Pace Klein.

I now anxiously await next month’s issue knowing that my recalibrated mindset will view each page through a “possibility” lens.



©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

It is with great pride that we announce our latest coaching program- Coaching in the Workplace™.

Click here to get more details.

Our goal has always been to help spread the amazing benefits of coaching in the workplace. This program takes tools and resources used by thousands of people in 36 countries, and packages them for use in any organization. This course represents many years of work perfecting tools that truly can help transform an organization.

This program is for executives, HR professionals, managers, and coaches. It is designed as a self study course that you can take on your schedule.

If your organization has any issues with turnover, absenteeism, employee engagement, or any other Human Capital related challenges, then this course is for you.

According to Gallop (and other leading survey firms) here are the workplace realities…which coaching, and this program specifically, can help with:

• 75% of people wished they had a different job.
• 51% of “A” workers are actively looking for a different job.
• Worker productivity is only at 33%.
• Lack of engagement costs U.S. businesses over $385 BILLION a year!
• 80% of people NEVER use their greatest gifts at work.

Coaching can address all of these issues…in fact; it may well be the ONLY thing that can cure these workplace “ills.”

If you don’t have a coaching strategy in your organization, we can guarantee you one thing—these statistics will not go down…

Coaching is the “cure.” Isn’t it time you used coaching to focus on your most important asset…your people?

Click here to enroll or to get more details.

Do you spend a great deal of energy trying to make things perfect?

You can’t let go of this project until it’s perfect...

You can’t have this discussion until your comments are perfectly rehearsed...

You can’t move forward until you know how it will all play out... 

Really? 

How much of your energy is spent thinking, and re-thinking, about the action you want to take?  How much time are you wasting working toward perfection?

Has being perfect become an excuse for you? Perfection can move from a need, to a wonderful excuse for not moving forward, in the blink of an eye.  Lack of perfectionism isn’t about being lazy or doing things half way, it’s about understanding the natural progression some things take.  How are we possibly going to know how a situation will play out unless we make our first move?

If you are spending too much time analyzing and rehashing the situation, you are stuck in your thinking mind.  This loop will create zero momentum.   Step out of your thinking mind and connect to your higher vision...and take inspired action!

Inspired action is based upon trust. Trust in your instincts. Trust in your talent. Trust in the fact that everything will be o.k. Take action based upon knowing these things.

Our thinking mind, the one that loves perfection, can truly limit your grow---and success. Yes, you may fail at some things. Yet you will never have any chance of success unless you take action. Any action equals progress.

And remember, there is really no such thing as being perfect. Be perfectly happy knowing that.

To your continued success!

There’s an old saying- “An old man can see backward better than a young man can see forward.”

What can we learn from the old man? How does writing your own eulogy sound? Come on, stay with me on this…

How would your eulogy sound if you died today? “He had such promise.” “She wanted to be a senator, but...” “He dreamed of ___, too bad he died before he could do it.”

How would your perfect eulogy sound? What would your legacy be? How many lives would you want to have positively affected? Did you achieve the dreams you had when you were young? Did you fulfill your life’s purpose?

Stonewall Jackson said on his deathbed- “Let me cross the river and rest under the tree.” What would you most regret not doing before you “rested under the tree?” 

I submit that nothing, absolutely nothing, is stopping you from leading the life of your dreams but yourself!

We should all leave with no regrets. Wouldn’t it be better to try and (so called) fail then to regret not trying? How would it feel to leave a truly positive mark on the world before you go? Well, you can!

Here’s an exercise for you. Make a list right now of 10 things that you really want to do before you die. Yep, your bucket list…but with a higher purpose than things like “visit Toledo.” The list could include things as simple as “inspire one person” or as noble as “start a nonprofit foundation.” The key is to commit to something!

Now write your eulogy based upon this list. Think about how people would remember you. Yeah, this can get pretty raw and that’s the point. You need to face your current reality in order to change your course. Remember, it is never too late to work on fulfilling your dreams. Start today!

I’ve been using this eulogy exercise for many years to keep my goals fresh and to stay focused on my big picture - my life’s work. It forces me to slow down and take inventory of the trajectory of my life. I don’t want to wait to take inventory when I’m on my death bed. Do you?

One thing on my “list” is my mission to serve people through coaching. If I can inspire just one person to be a better leader and person I will have achieved my goal. Hopefully this article will help. My eulogy is counting on it!

May your real eulogy be a long time coming!

My daughter and I share a love of Greek and Roman mythology. We are currently reading “The Mark of Athena,” the third installment of Rick Riordan’s “The Heroes of Olympus.”  It is such great material and rich with modern interpretations of the stories.

Percy Jackson, a demigod (son of Poseidon and a mortal) and one of the main heroes in the book series, is confronted with a particularly challenging quest.  Following a confrontation with another demigod in which Percy very well could have been killed, he begins to question his power…and himself. Eerily like many leaders in top organizations I work with on a daily basis. 

“Percy didn’t feel powerful.  The more heroic stuff he did, the more he realized how limited he was.  He felt like a fraud. ‘I’m not as great as you think,’ he wanted to warn his friends. Maybe that’s why he had started to fear suffocation.  It wasn’t so much drowning in the earth or the sea, but the feeling that he was sinking into too many expectations, literally getting in over his head.”

When I read Percy’s rumination I flashed back to a conversation I had with a CEO of an organization last year. Much of the business’s growth had been meteoric and his “reputation” had grown with similar speed -- to almost cult like proportions.

His ego reveled in being held in such high regard, but through our discussions he acknowledged he was quaking inside, “Just waiting for them to see who I really am and for it all to fall apart!”

As his external world seemed to improve his internal world deteriorated. This leader found himself closing down and trying to control more and more.  He was less open to comments from his executive team, often making unilateral decisions without consulting them.  He discounted information that he did not agree with. He was cutting himself off -- suffocating himself!

He began to lose touch with the values that anchored his initial success, replacing them with others’ expectations. His compass no longer pointed to his “true north,” and he began to lose his way.

We see it constantly in the news -- General Patraeus, Eliot Spitzer, and the Secret Service detail in Columbia, to name just a few leaders (or those considered leaders in their field). They drowned in others’ expectations or projections of greatness, leading to poor judgment and a belief to some extent of being “above the law.”

When a CEO (or any leader) loses their way, it has a ripple effect throughout the organization, their family, and their entire community! The collateral damage is immense.

Who else do you know who responds to feelings of vulnerability and inadequacy with greater levels of denial, self-importance, and constriction?  We all know someone who fits that profile...they might even be staring at us in the mirror in the morning.

The remedy is a loving, tough, trusting, outside advisor. A person who calls it like they see it and says the things that a person often doesn’t want to hear. Luckily, Percy Jackson had his demigod friends as trusted advisors to help him find his way.

Who do you have?

Commit to getting your own advisor (it could be an executive coach, a mentor, or a trusted friend), or you may run the risk of becoming a self destructive high performer. Leadership is a challenging path that all of us need help navigating. Make sure that you have a support system that will keep you from a path like Percy’s.

Oh, and that CEO I had the discussion with…he’s still looking for work.


©2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Our Founder and CEO, Drayton Boylston, is once again honored to be presenting at WBECS this year with the likes of John Maxwell, Marshall Goldsmith, and many other esteemed colleagues. Please join us for 30 complimentary pre summit sessions. All sessions are "no pitch," which we love. Pure content. Pure growth.

Here's the link to enroll for the FREE sessions: http://wbecs.com/partner/a/wbecs2014/a2113 




One of the primary goals of The Executive Coaching University is to promote the best practices in our profession. Additionally, we want to raise the awareness and standards of coaching worldwide. 

With that desire, we have partnered with the well respected World Business and Executive Coaching Summit to bring the leaders in the coaching industry together to provide a no charge, no pitch, educational experience.

WBECS offers an outstanding professional growth opportunity. It brings together the thought leaders of the coaching world to share their knowledge and experience with practicing, and aspiring, coaches.

You can get your complimentary pass here: http://wbecs.com/partner/a/wbecs2014/a2113

The presenters are diverse and first rate. They include:

John C. Maxwell: One of the top coaches on the concept of leadership.

Dr. Marshall Goldsmith: One of the top thought leaders in the field of management. 

Frances Hesselbein: Presidential Medal of Freedom Recipient and President of the Drucker Foundation.

Last year, hundreds of professional coaches gave testimonials as to the value of the conference.  That is why we not only endorse this conference but will also be providing a discount for you to attend the full summit. We will send you details about this next month. For now, be sure to register for the complimentary pre-summit series here: http://wbecs.com/partner/a/wbecs2014/a2113

You’ll be able to attend all 30 sessions live or listen to the recordings at your convenience.

Once again, here is the link to join the complimentary sessions: http://wbecs.com/partner/a/wbecs2014/a2113

Enjoy!