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Tuesday, 03 June 2014 16:23

Why is this Happening... AGAIN?!

How many times have you said that in your life?

Perhaps it was around relationships, friendships, health, or work. 

Do you ever find that in one, maybe two, areas of your life you seem to see the same pattern happening? 

Most of us have patterns in our lives - good, bad, or indifferent.  In fact, most of us could be called robotic by nature.

We as human beings move through our lives both consciously (which means in a state of awareness) and unconsciously (which is based on what we’ve memorized or are conditioned to do). 

We become robotic when we are moving through life unconsciously, destined to repeat some of the same experiences over and over again. 

Here are some statistics from the latest research in neuroscience:

  • We work unconsciously (robotically) 95% of our day.
  • We work consciously (deliberately) 5% of our day.
  • We have 60-70,000 thoughts per day.
  • 90% of those thoughts are the same ones you had yesterday.
  • 70-75% of those thoughts are negative.

Think about it. How do you start your day?  Do you have the same basic routine or rhythm to how you get ready?

So why do you ask: Is this happening AGAIN?! 

Because you’ve created it!

Human Beings act based on their conditioning, we become reliant on our experiences. Our minds by nature are repetitive.

In fact, most of our experiences are created to emotionally reinforce the personality we have become so accustom to.  When we are not aware of the stories we have, and the thoughts we create, we will never create a new future.

So what do we do?

  • Start small. 
  • Change things up a little with your routines. 
  • Change your morning routine.
  • Listen to a different radio station.
  • As one of my dear friends likes to do, order a different type of coffee every time you stop for one. 

By creating different experiences you will interrupt the unconscious programming and start to experience things differently. 

Different experiences create different outcomes.

Every step you take towards awareness is a step in the right direction.

Start small and go experience the life you really want! 

To your continued success!


Find out more about Jenna here.


Are you ready to boost your career...and earnings? Coaching skills are the answer! Gain these skills with this program:

Coaching In The Workplace

© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Friday, 25 April 2014 12:34

Is Stress Ruining Your Life?

Click here for more information on the Stress Slayer Program

After 27 years in business I know how imperative it is to consistently fine tune your offerings for what is relevant for your clients, you and your business. Working as an Executive Coach the needs landscape is constantly changing. Through listening to the needs of our clients we change what we offer in our suite of services accordingly.  One area that is a constant and is consistently on the rise in the world is stress in life and business.

Stress is like an odorless gas. It seeps in and slowly begins to asphyxiate us. Before we know it the symptoms of stress show up in our relationships, work quality, and our physical body. We treat these symptoms in a variety of ways from medicine, to escapism and everything in between.  These treatments however do not take care of stress itself as the core issue.

My colleagues Drayton Boylston, Jenna Forster, and Greg Styles and I at the Executive Coaching University have committed to taking on this stress epidemic. Each of us has our specialties in coaching clientele ranging from high level executives, business owners, women in business, high performance athletes, engaging the millennial workforce and serving fellow coaches. The brain trust at ECU is constantly seeking ways to serve the highest number of people, for the greater good of all, in areas that have the most impact in behavioral change, for the best results in life and business.

Consider these facts:

  • 85% of ALL illness is stress related
  • Depression is projected to be the #2 killer by 2020
  • Managers and executives are 40 times more likely to suffer from heart issues
  • 75% of people wish they had another job
  • 80% of people NEVER use their greatest gifts at work
  • Stress related illnesses are costing organizations over $350 billion a year


By attacking the root of this stress issue we are helping our clients find:

  • Peace and relaxation
  • They are enjoying life and work again
  • They are feeling healthier and more motivated
  • Their relationships are stronger with family, friends and co-workers
  • They have discovered “Me Time” in each day
  • Our business leaders are seeing an increase in moral, productivity, and profits


Over the next few months we will be offering a one day Oregon Stress Slayer Workshop and a Colorado Stress Slayer Workshop to kick off our dedication to increasing the happiness level in our clients, by reducing stress in our lives and businesses through mindfulness. We want to lessen this common link of stress and replace it with higher quality of living for you! Keep watch for other offerings as we continue to serve the greatest number for the greatest good through coaching. Take the time to invest in yourself and join us to help reduce your stress. It may just save your life!


To register for the workshops in Salem, Oregon or Denver, Colorado click the links above. For more information about other locations and dates or to bring us into your organization or city please contact us here: 1.800.251.1696 or email us.

Wednesday, 09 April 2014 11:44

Stress - The Deadly Lie

stress 4.9.14

: 1) a state of mental tension and worry caused by problems in your life, work, etc.; 2) something that causes strong feelings of worry or anxiety; 3) physical force or pressure (as defined by

“Stress” is a word and concept so ubiquitous in our western society that it is difficult not to encounter its specter everywhere you turn.  You will hear “stress” referenced by all ages (I recently heard a 4 year old exclaim “Mom, leave me alone…you’re stressing me out!”), by professionals and amateurs, high and low performers – as an actual thing, a marketing tool, or the reason someone adopted any myriad lifestyle change. 

“Stress” appears to be everywhere, in control of, and laying waste to everyone!  But it doesn’t have to be that way – you do not need to live your life at the whim of this thing we call “stress”!

Here’s my main focus of this entry – you can control “stress”, and all the symptoms we lump into the category of “stress”, because STRESS IS NOT REAL!

Modern day “stress”, the psychological process of feeling overwhelmed or pushed beyond our ability to cope, is a carry-over from the “fight or flight” hard wired system.  This system has been our best defense over eons when faced with threat – turning a corner and running into a lion for instance – it allowed our forebears to stay alive by dumping large amounts of chemicals into our system for the boost we would need in strength, speed, or focus to survive.

Though “stress” is not an actual thing – you cannot show me “stress” or point out a “ stress” – the symptoms of a lifestyle filled with “mental tension” and  “strong feelings of worry or anxiety” are definitely real and negatively impacting life.

Did you know:

  • Researchers tracked women for nearly 40 years and found that those who experienced a greater number of stressors (work problems, divorce, family illness) in middle age were more likely to develop dementia later in life.
  • Experiencing chronic stress triggers the production of inflammatory compounds and damages areas of the brain linked to memory.
  • Symptoms of chronic stress can vary from anxiety, depression, social isolation, headache, abdominal pain or lack of sleep,  to back pain and difficulty concentrating.
  • Other symptoms include: hypertension, hemorrhoids, varicose veins,  panic attacks (or a panic disorder) and cardiovascular diseases.
  • The statistics show 24% of adults now categorize their stress levels as severe – and over half report moderate to high (5 or more on a scale of 10).
  • Family practitioners report that 66% of all doctor visits are for stress related symptoms such as headache, neck pain, irritable bowel syndrome, loss of libido, fatigue, sleeplessness, and even infertility.Stress is more regularly being recognized as a direct precursor to serious medical consequences such as heart disease and certain cancers.
  • People suffering from chronic stress may have difficulty attaining calm without the use of prescriptive medications, distractions (such as shopping and eating) or addictions.

That’s all bad stuff, right?  Of course it is… but because you live a high performing life does not mean you are sentenced to developing those symptoms, or any symptoms other than resiliency, strength, and mental toughness due to this thing called “stress”!

“Stress” is simply the catch all term we use to describe the manner in which we approach the adversity we each experience every day.  And without “stress” we cannot grow beyond who we are right now!

Who determines the working definition of “adversity” in your life?  


Not your friends, parents, family, co-workers, board, doctor, priest, therapist, television commercials, etc. You and I determine not only the level of disruption this adversity will have on our life, but the manner in which we engage that adversity plays a large part in how that adversity will be resolved.

The impact life events or experiences have on you is up to you!

You have the power to use “stressful” experiences or events to improve your life – leverage that power and take full ownership of your life by using some of the tools below:

  • Breathe!  When you are experiencing “stress” fill your lungs with 5 deep breaths through your nose, exhaling in a controlled manner through your mouth.  Breathing in this manner short circuits the physiologic process that fuels the experience of “stress” and brings your automatic flight or fight response back into your conscious control.
  • Move through the challenge!  When thinking about that event, relationship, experience, task that is creating a stress response answer this question – “What is it you most don’t want to do, but know you should?”…and go do that exact thing!  So much of our stress response is associated with those challenging parts of life we would rather avoid…creating increased tension = stress.  Move through the challenge – doing so always makes you stronger.
  • Embrace discomfort and pain as tools of transformation! For our brains to create new neural connections upon which new behaviors might be built we need to reach…really stretch ourselves to the point of discomfort and/or pain.  Accept that discomfort and/or pain as the process of transformation, knowing you will be “better” on the other side.  Embrace, move through, and emerge stronger and with a higher stress response level.
  • Get outside your own experience! So often our brains become a closed loop circuit with thoughts just bouncing around inside our heads with no reality check coming from outside of ourselves.  Find a trusted individual (a coach, therapist, religious figure often work from a more advantageous perspective than those close to you) you can share those aspects generating a stress response.  Then steel yourself and work with them on developing a strategy to identify, engage, and transform those aspects from sources of weakness to strength.

“Stress” is not the external boogeyman we are led to believe!  “Stress” is a chosen (and often habitualized) set of responses to life – responses to life we choose!

It’s up to you – follow the sheep and helplessly live a life full of “stress” and the health limiting symptoms listed above, or follow your own “stress resistant” course and identify, engage, and emerge from life adversity with a more higher functioning, higher performing you.


Find out more about Greg here.


How do you handle stress? Please tell us how below. 

This program will help boost your career... and earnings!

Coaching In The Workplace

Friday, 21 March 2014 13:11

Why Are You So Negative?

Ever said that to yourself?

Everywhere you look there are articles, videos, and advertisements stating the need to shut off our negative thoughts and be more positive.  While I am all about viewing life from the perspective of “what you can do” versus “what you can't do,”  I also understand that turning off negative thoughts is not a light switch that can be turned off with enough willpower!

Did you know that?

  • Inside the multiple layers of your brain, deep within, is an electrical system so alive that with every thought you are firing and wiring synaptic connections.
  • Every time you learn something new you make a new connection in your brain.
  • Your mind and body are connected by chemical releases we like to call “feelings” or “emotions.
  • Most of our actions are taken in order to emotionally feel the same way we did yesterday.

So why can’t you just stop being negative?

Because you have wired your brain and your body to think certain thoughts and have certain feelings. You have done this so well and for so long that those connections are stronger than ever.

Moving from negative to positive is a physical process.

Start to think of your brain as a garden.

Your job is to plant enough new thoughts, emotions and experiences that your current connections automatically get pruned away.  When your garden is full and vibrant, you will naturally start to remove some of the older, unhealthy plants that don’t serve your garden anymore.

In the neuroscience world (like in the gardening world) it is called pruning.  You see, you’re a human being and your nature is to be successful…you’re built that way.  With a little attention you can shift in the right direction.

Start small, chose to learn something new and begin to create new experiences in your life. Here are some ways to do this:

  • Read up on a subject matter that interests you.
  • Take a different route to work.
  • Eat at a different restaurant.
  • Start-up a conversation with someone new.

As we learn something new, we fire a new synaptic connection. As we experience something new, we get our body involved and feel differently. 

The more you gain new knowledge and experiences, the more you can wire and fire your brain with brand new connections.  The more you repeat your learning and experiences, the more current is sent to these new connections.

If your brain is busy wiring and firing your new thoughts, feelings and emotions, it is not signaling your old ones.

Your job from this day forward is to:

  • Slow down.
  • Pay attention.
  • Learn, grow and expand.

This is how change is made and finally you can STOP being so negative.

To your future!


Find out more about Jenna here.


Are you ready to boost your career...and earnings? Coaching skills are the answer! Gain these skills with this program:

Coaching In The Workplace

© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Thursday, 13 March 2014 14:56

Ready, Fire, Aim!

High performers are not like everyone else.  They think about, and do, things differently.  One of the ways in which high performers differ is in their audacious willingness to execute…often when others would prefer to remain inactive or fiddle around trying to have the perfect plan before “pulling the trigger.”  

Execution for high performers follows a very distinct path. High performers follow the “Ready, Fire, Aim” sequence versus the more socially accepted, and dismally fatally flawed, “Ready, Aim, Fire” approach.  

Let’s look at the “Ready, Fire, Aim” sequence more closely to understand why it far out performs the standard “Ready, Aim, Fire.”

  • The “READY” stage is exactly what you would imagine it to be.  This is the initial step where inspiration ignites into an idea, that idea further aligns with our passion, and we’re off to the planning races.  This is where we collect the energy, knowledge, and resources needed to accomplish the initial steps of our grand adventure.  At this stage it is imperative that we move through with a solid goal setting process – visualizing the overall goal, and then reverse engineering so we can “chunk” up each step.  Without proper “chunking” we will find ourselves adrift after only a couple of “Ready, Fire, Aim” cycles…and we will not reach our goal!  So “READY” is all about taking our inspired idea, molding it into an overarching vision, breaking that big picture into small bites through working backwards, and collecting the necessary information/resources to begin the next step – “FIRE.”
  • Now it’s time to “FIRE” – to take action.  This is where we take that very first step you developed in the “READY” phase and put it into practice.  Remember, that first step is a synergistic element made of all the knowledge, resources, and inspiration, needed to take this action.  None of those elements will likely be perfect - they will never be.  So take that small step of action and allow the environment to provide you feedback.  Listening to that feedback is what allows the next step, "AIM," to be increasingly effective in getting us closer and closer to our target.
  • Once we have taken the action of putting our initial step developed in the “READY” phase into the environment into which we intend to impact, we will begin to receive feedback from that environment.  That feedback (wins/losses, improved times, reviews, criticisms, sales numbers, improving/worsening relationships, etc…) is new inspiration, knowledge, and resources, we then put into our next “READY” cycle.  Entering the new data into our calculus allows us to create a new “Ready, Fire, Aim” cycle that allows us to hone in more effectively on our goal than did our first cycle.  Each successive cycle gets us closer and closer to accomplishing that overall goal – step by step.
Each of these “Ready, Fire, Aim” sequences then become “chunks” of our overall approach. Each step towards our goal we move through a “Ready, Fire, Aim” cycle specific to that step...and one that builds upon all initiated before.  This is how we “zero” in on our target. 

High performers utilize this “Ready, Fire, Aim” approach to guard against the common phenomenon of “paralysis by analysis” – essentially trying to get everything “perfect” before taking action…commonly leading to no action at all!

“Ready, Fire, Aim” also allows high performers to operate much more consistently within a reality highly engaged with the environments within which they are “playing.”  They are receiving real time feedback from the environment within which the target resides (creating an open feedback loop), not focusing on the often faulty internal feedback system of thier own mind (a closed feedback loop).

One exceptionally important concept to understand with adopting the process of “Ready, Fire, Aim” versus “Ready, Aim, Fire” is that of “failing to succeed” – as in the quickest way to success is through consistent, multiple failures.  In current business jargon this is called “failing forward.”

Are you a high performer?  Are you willing to fail to succeed?  Do you have the courage to operate in a manner in which the masses resist?

You’re reading this blog – so the answer to all those questions is “Of course I am!”  

Then get to it!

Find out more about Greg here.


Are you a high performer? Please tell us why below. 

This program will help you become an even better peak performer!

Coaching In The Workplace

© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Monday, 24 February 2014 17:28

Are You Coddling Your Millennials?

I have mentioned in previous articles the importance Millennials place on strong, clear, communication. Some of the push back I have had from business leaders is about when the communication becomes more like coddling and the inherent frustrations that follow.

Many of those from Generation Y have close relationships with their parents that resemble more of a friendship then previous generations. Those that have been brought up this way naturally carry this learned behavior into college and the workforce. 

Hiring managers, department heads, supervisors, and human resource specialists are getting overwhelmed by this paradigm shift. The energy needed to adjust is exhausting. Meanwhile senior leadership is seeing productivity and efficiency slip, profits drop, and morale bottom out all the while asking for answers from the previously mentioned, exasperated team of people.

As the leader, check out these powerful ways to use communication, not coddling, in your tribe:

  • Bring coaching into your organization! An outside perspective utilizing excellent coaching skills, attached to planned outcomes, can cut through the useless routine of being told what your people think you want to hear, versus what you need to hear. Investing in coaching for your tribe allows your managers and supervisors to focus on their main functions in the organization, while Millennials and other generations have a place to share openly in a positive, constructive manner.
  • Fact: Millennials were raised with constant coaching and feedback and expect it to continue in the workplace. Coaching will keep Millennials engaged in their work. – 2012 Millennial Survey  UNC Business School, Jessica Brack
  • Create solid boundaries and structure. Provide a lot of feedback on performance. Say no, but do it mindfully while showing you care about them as people. Structure and boundaries are in place for a reason and tell them what that reason is using frank language. Ask them to set some benchmarks for themselves and ask to be kept up to speed on results. Help them create a solid follow up plan and check in on them often.
  • FACT: Offer regular feedback on their performance. Clearly communicate your expectations. Share the big picture and the opportunities that lie ahead. – 2012 Payscale Millennial report
  • If you are a CEO or COO consider having frequent town hall discussions with your people. Millennials are sponges for leadership information and they want it from the top. Setting up a one hour meeting, in person if possible, can really shore up a young person’s belief they are in the right place and he/she will want to work hard to stay there. It can also ensure that the company's values are in alignment with their own which is very high on the list for most Millennials.
  • FACT: Currently only 26% of Millennials believe their organization encourages idea generation and sharing regardless of seniority. - 2013 Millennial Survey by Deloitte

Coaching, Collaboration, Measurements, and Motivation are the top 4 things Millennials seek according to a recent report. While those are things for future posts you can begin today using a well thought out plan on communication. This will serve as the underpinning to achieving success with this crucial and dynamic workforce, while increasing the profits for your company.


Find out more about Scott here.


Are you coddling your Millennials? Please tell us how/why below. 

This program will help you become an even better peak performer!

Coaching In The Workplace

© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Monday, 10 February 2014 18:20

So You Think You're an Executive?

I am often confronted with the question “Why are you sending these blogs to me?  I’m not an executive!” from those non-business executives to whom I forward ECU blogs.  After all, we are the “Executive Coaching University”, so all our material is targeted only to those seen as business executives, right?  Wrong!

In my mind the term “executive” is more adjective than noun – it describes how someone approaches her life rather than who she is and is synonymous with “peak performer”…someone who desires to live life at the highest level possible.

An executive/peak performer:

  • Executes – high level performers execute.  They engage the “Ready, Fire, Aim” process of prepare, take action, adjust action that creates greater amounts of positive energy and results, rather than the conventional “Ready, Aim, Fire”…recognizing the majority of people get stuck at “Aim” and never take the action needed.  Ever seen a mom or dad juggle one or more toddlers?  That’s as high performance execution as you will see in any boardroom or courtroom!

An executive/peak performer:

  • Is inside-out focused – high level performers understand that our external environment mirrors our internal developmental level.  In other words, high level performers focus on themselves and drive towards their personal “A-game” rather than continuously looking outside of themselves for responsibility, accountability, and solutions.  Think of the slogan “An Army of One” – each individual piece striving to be at their peak, coalescing into a high performing group entity.

An executive/peak performer:

  • Is gritty – high level performers seek out opportunities to cultivate grit, that mix of determination, passion, and perseverance that allows us to drive through obstacles.

An executive/peak performer:

  • Is neuroscience savvy – high level performers understand how the brain and body work to create the results desired.  Without that knowledge we abdicate our creative power to the unconscious, habit and live our lives on auto pilot.

An executive/peak performer:

  • Constantly seeks to self-improve – the high level performer understands that human beings are biologically designed for constant growth and change, yet psychologically drive towards homeostasis and comfort.  Therefore, high level performers continuously look for opportunities for growth and recognize the motivation for that growth must initially come from within.  They push themselves to “reach” as often as possible.

An executive/peak performer:

  • Is anchored by values and integrity – the high level performer knows what they value and utilize those values as foundation for their decision making and actions.  Integrity is a cornerstone of the high performers psyche – they embody the saying “Always do the right thing, even if nobody else is looking.”

High level performers wear many different hats and hold many different roles within our society.  Yet, they share the characteristics outlined above. 

If you are reading this you are an executive regardless your official “title”! 

Welcome executive – now pass it on to your brother and sister high performers!

Find out more about Greg here.


Are you an executive/peak performer? Please tell us why below. 

This program will help you become an even better peak performer!

Coaching In The Workplace

© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, 05 February 2014 15:59

What's the Big Deal About Women?

Women are better executives than men. Yep, I just said it. Now, I'll back it up!

  • According to Business Insider women rank at 54.5 percent in “Overall Leadership Effectiveness,” with men ranking 51.8 percent.
  • According to the same article in Business Insider, “Overall Female Effectiveness” increases significantly after the age of 40.


  • According to Forbes Inc. women currently hold 4.6 percent of Fortune 500 CEO positions and roughly the same percentage of Fortune 1000 CEO positions.


So why, if women have a higher ranking in “Overall Leadership Effectiveness,” and they get better with age, are there so few women leaders? 

The answers are varied and, quite frankly, questionable. Anything from the standard work-life balance drivel to the "glass ceiling" for female executives.   The quote that jumps out for me is “women need to perform twice as well to be thought of as half as good.”  

So… are women tired of the battle?  I don’t think so…

The reality is that women are the ones to watch!  With their strategic ability, instinct for collaboration, and ability to invest in the teams around them, their rise is inevitable. 

One of their greatest traits is that women maintain the habit of asking for feedback and taking action to improve which makes them invaluable. Do most men? Not so much.

So for all you women out there…continue your path, take initiative, drive for results, know your worth, and lead on! 

For the men…you may want to make friends with your women colleagues so they remember you when they are at the top.

They are indeed a BIG deal.

To your continued success!


Please know that we are here to help!. You can find out how we can assist here.
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© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
Thursday, 23 January 2014 14:44

Are Millennials Bringing You to Tears?

When asked at a corporate retreat to detail his biggest challenge as a senior level executive, an esteemed colleague recently shared with me that he was literally brought to tears of frustration as he described his efforts to connect and inspire his younger workforce.

Turnover from this segment was at an all-time high and it was severely affecting morale, production and leadership.

This scenario is happening all over the world. Millennials currently represent 30% of our workforce and will grow to over 40% by 2020. This issue will only exapand in importance. The press has written about this generation as the “Me Generation.” There are more similarities in values than one may think between generations; it is the order and priorities using these values in their lives that are different.

Here are three suggestions to engage differently with your Millennial workforce. If you want to gain a competitive edge, reduce turnover costs (and your frustration level), keep reading!

  • Create a plan. Seek outside expertise if necessary to create a strategic approach to this human capital issue. Address it like a budget issue, capital project, operational issue, or other business system. Also, please include your Human Resource people…and remember - this is a leadership issue, not an HR issue.
  • Ask your Millennials to weigh in. Get a better understanding of what the expectations are from your people. Asking during an exit interview is too late to salvage your investment in that person. So be proactive! Many times the solutions are within an organization. All we must do is ask for it.
  • This is a worldwide epidemic in business as more boomers retire and Millennials move in to fill the ranks. Coaching as a management style has never been more important than it is right now. Seek coaching training for your leaders.

Transform your culture to create buzz with Millennials as an organization that “gets it.”

This requires a different mindset in how we lead. Having a coaching professional to help you see things differently...asking provocative questions of the entire organization, stimulates new thinking. This shift leads to quicker solutions.

Remember, all business problems are people problems!

It is a new world. It is changing rapidly. It will not be “the way it was” ever again. By acknowledging these things and creating a plan to engage Millennials differently, you will be out in front as the trend setter with this vital segment of the workforce. Your turnover costs will drop and company morale will rise…not to mention your life will get a whole lot better when you are not frustrated to tears.

Are your Millennials bringing YOU to tears? Please leave your comments below. 

This program will help you become an even better leader!

Coaching In The Workplace

© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.


Wednesday, 15 January 2014 11:19

You're a Fraud!

This is secretly one of the biggest fears of executives.  I know it was one of mine...the fear of being “found out” or exposed as the fraud I felt I was. 

What would happen if people found out that:

  • I didn’t always have all the answers? 
  • I didn’t always know what to do next?
  • I was flying by the seat of my pants, hoping I was making the right decisions? 

To cope, I spent so much of my time being busy; juggling all the balls, hoping one wasn’t going to drop. Pretending that I was ten feet tall and bullet proof.  Trying to be everything to everybody so that I didn’t let anyone down.

  • I was exhausted.
  • I was scared.
  • I was worried.
  • I was fried…

Sound familiar?

I accomplished this juggling act for a great many years until one day I looked in the mirror and I said “you’re a fraud.”  I realized at that moment that I was living my life on other people’s terms, working for their desired outcomes, not mine.  

On the outside I looked like I had it all together.  I had built a wonderful reputation as someone who gets things done. I had built strong teams and developed relationships with peers that are still thriving to this day.  I created what I thought was confidence through lofty accomplishments. 

What I know now is all of that “stuff” was external to me.  I built a life that was external to who I am.  Everything my life was built on was based on my ego, my need to prove my worth. Oh, don’t forget the all important people pleasing that I was a champ at.

I was slowly but surely losing myself in the life I was building.  Day in and day out I was giving more of myself, emptying the tank.  If I hadn’t recognized this fact that lonely day in front of the mirror, I’m not sure where I would be today.

If this resonates with you in any way, then slow down and think...

When was the last time you spent any time in front of the mirror of your life?  I’m not talking about brushing your teeth, shaving or putting on your makeup.  I’m talking about really taking a look at yourself and the life you have built.  

When was the last time you asked yourself:

  • Is this my life or is it someone else’s?  
  • Am I operating from a place of personal integrity?
  • Will I look back on my life with pride or regret?

If you are living this life like it’s truly yours, great! Keep building it.  If it’s someone else’s, don’t you think it’s about time you gave it back?


Ever feel like an imposter, a fraud? Please leave your comments below. Let’s get this discussion out in the open!


Did you know that all the way to the end of his illustrious career Jack Welch felt like an imposter? You’re in good company...

This program will help you become an even better leader!

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© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.
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