Click here to schedule a session to see if coaching is a good fit for you or give us a ring: 1.800.526.6038

per·se·ver·ance - noun

Steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

You must persevere! This is what I and many others are told when we hit rough times in life and in business. This is easily said by many, well executed by few.

 

Perseverance means different things to different people depending on upbringing, generational differences, overall outlook on life, etc., etc. While I believe it to be true that we should stand tall in the face of obstacles in our path to freedom, success and happiness, I also believe we must utilize a higher-level perspective of these issues. We need to employ own inner wisdom (which we frequently ignore), along with a trusted outside source, and attempt to get some distance from the issue or problem so as to decide if it is worth persevering for. As my friend Robin Rose often asks her audiences “What do you really want?”

 

I got the opportunity to learn this lesson in my own life and business. I will be eternally grateful that I did not get the very thing I was spending the energy to persevere through a few years ago, when I was in a different industry in a horrible economy. At some point I knew it was time to end the pointless perseverance and focus on getting through the upcoming changes that needed to happen so I could focus on building the life and business of my dreams.  It was not easy. I was warned by some that I should stick in out. Listening to my inner voice (and some excellent coaching around what I really wanted out of this short life)made the decision easy.

 

Then came the hard part. The fear. The concerns about stopping what I was doing. Taking the risk to do what I wanted to do. All the emotional, mental, and physically draining things I had to do to prepare and move ahead, were beyond overwhelming. There were many things to test my perseverance - family issues, partnership issues, and money issues, to name a few. Then there was the unexpected loss of support from some friends, whom I thought were true friends. In reality, they were only my friends when it benefitted them. Once that benefit went away with the changes I was making they no longer needed me. I am not going to lie, that one hurt.

 

If you are not happy. If you are searching for something. If you need to change your life and/or business. If you desire to reinvent yourself, I say DO IT!

Below are a few tips to get you started.

 

• Be thoughtful about your process. It does no good to constantly make changes for the sake of change.
• Create a plan. Make sure it is what you want and then begin executing that plan. This step alone may take months or even years. Don’t be intimidated, just begin and commit.
• Hire a gifted coach as your trusted advisor. It is important to have someone who hears you, challenges you, and holds you accountable to your plans. (Make sure your coach has a coach!)
• Spend time alone each day in quietude. Envision what your life will look like when you fully implement the changes for which you have persevered. Statistics have shown the most successful executives spend 20% of their week envisioning the next level for their organizations.

 

This is a subject that needs much more discussion based on where you are and what you want from your life. It is meant as a discussion starter so please share your thoughts, and stories about your own times of perseverance. It could be invaluable to someone who is unsure of what to do next.

 

If you are persevering just for the sake of it,  the time is at hand to decide on the changes that will bring the outcomes for you to live the happiest, most productive life you can. You will still have ample opportunities to use your perseverance skills. Only this time, those hard-earned skills can be in alignment with what you truly want. To quote Stephen Covey: “Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.” 

Find out more about Scott here.

 

This program will help you become an even more valuable performer!

     Coaching In The Workplace



© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

 

Stress : 1) a state of mental tension and worry caused by problems in your life, work, etc.; 2) something that causes strong feelings of worry or anxiety; 3) physical force or pressure (as defined by Merriam-Webster.com)

“Stress” is a word and concept so ubiquitous in our western society that it is difficult not to encounter its specter everywhere you turn.  You will hear “stress” referenced by all ages (I recently heard a 4 year old exclaim “Mom, leave me alone…you’re stressing me out!”), by professionals and amateurs, high and low performers – as an actual thing, a marketing tool, or the reason someone adopted any myriad lifestyle change. 

“Stress” appears to be everywhere, in control of, and laying waste to everyone!  But it doesn’t have to be that way – you do not need to live your life at the whim of this thing we call “stress”!

Here’s my main focus of this entry – you can control “stress”, and all the symptoms we lump into the category of “stress”, because STRESS IS NOT REAL!

Modern day “stress”, the psychological process of feeling overwhelmed or pushed beyond our ability to cope, is a carry-over from the “fight or flight” hard wired system.  This system has been our best defense over eons when faced with threat – turning a corner and running into a lion for instance – it allowed our forebears to stay alive by dumping large amounts of chemicals into our system for the boost we would need in strength, speed, or focus to survive.

Though “stress” is not an actual thing – you cannot show me “stress” or point out a “ stress” – the symptoms of a lifestyle filled with “mental tension” and  “strong feelings of worry or anxiety” are definitely real and negatively impacting life.

Did you know:

• Researchers tracked women for nearly 40 years and found that those who experienced a greater number of stressors (work problems, divorce, family illness) in middle age were more likely to develop dementia later in life.
• Experiencing chronic stress triggers the production of inflammatory compounds and damages areas of the brain linked to memory.
• Symptoms of chronic stress can vary from anxiety, depression, social isolation, headache, abdominal pain or lack of sleep,  to back pain and difficulty concentrating.
• Other symptoms include: hypertension, hemorrhoids, varicose veins,  panic attacks (or a panic disorder) and cardiovascular diseases.
• The statistics show 24% of adults now categorize their stress levels as severe – and over half report moderate to high (5 or more on a scale of 10).
• Family practitioners report that 66% of all doctor visits are for stress related symptoms such as headache, neck pain, irritable bowel syndrome, loss of libido, fatigue, sleeplessness, and even infertility.Stress is more regularly being recognized as a direct precursor to serious medical consequences such as heart disease and certain cancers.

• People suffering from chronic stress may have difficulty attaining calm without the use of prescriptive medications, distractions (such as shopping and eating) or addictions.
  

That’s all bad stuff, right?  Of course it is… but because you live a high performing life does not mean you are sentenced to developing those symptoms, or any symptoms other than resiliency, strength, and mental toughness due to this thing called “stress”!

“Stress” is simply the catch all term we use to describe the manner in which we approach the adversity we each experience every day.  And without “stress” we cannot grow beyond who we are right now!

Who determines the working definition of “adversity” in your life?  

You! 

Not your friends, parents, family, co-workers, board, doctor, priest, therapist, television commercials, etc. You and I determine not only the level of disruption this adversity will have on our life, but the manner in which we engage that adversity plays a large part in how that adversity will be resolved.

The impact life events or experiences have on you is up to you!

You have the power to use “stressful” experiences or events to improve your life – leverage that power and take full ownership of your life by using some of the tools below:

• Breathe!  When you are experiencing “stress” fill your lungs with 5 deep breaths through your nose, exhaling in a controlled manner through your mouth.  Breathing in this manner short circuits the physiologic process that fuels the experience of “stress” and brings your automatic flight or fight response back into your conscious control.
• Move through the challenge!  When thinking about that event, relationship, experience, task that is creating a stress response answer this question – “What is it you most don’t want to do, but know you should?”…and go do that exact thing!  So much of our stress response is associated with those challenging parts of life we would rather avoid…creating increased tension = stress.  Move through the challenge – doing so always makes you stronger.
• Embrace discomfort and pain as tools of transformation! For our brains to create new neural connections upon which new behaviors might be built we need to reach…really stretch ourselves to the point of discomfort and/or pain.  Accept that discomfort and/or pain as the process of transformation, knowing you will be “better” on the other side.  Embrace, move through, and emerge stronger and with a higher stress response level.
• Get outside your own experience! So often our brains become a closed loop circuit with thoughts just bouncing around inside our heads with no reality check coming from outside of ourselves.  Find a trusted individual (a coach, therapist, religious figure often work from a more advantageous perspective than those close to you) you can share those aspects generating a stress response.  Then steel yourself and work with them on developing a strategy to identify, engage, and transform those aspects from sources of weakness to strength.

“Stress” is not the external boogeyman we are led to believe!  “Stress” is a chosen (and often habitualized) set of responses to life – responses to life we choose!

It’s up to you – follow the sheep and helplessly live a life full of “stress” and the health limiting symptoms listed above, or follow your own “stress resistant” course and identify, engage, and emerge from life adversity with a more higher functioning, higher performing you.

 

Ever said that to yourself?
 

Everywhere you look there are articles, videos, and advertisements stating the need to shut off our negative thoughts and be more positive.  While I am all about viewing life from the perspective of “what you can do” versus “what you can't do,”  I also understand that turning off negative thoughts is not a light switch that can be turned off with enough willpower!

Did you know that?

• Inside the multiple layers of your brain, deep within, is an electrical system so alive that with every thought you are firing and wiring synaptic connections.

• Every time you learn something new you make a new connection in your brain.
  
• Your mind and body are connected by chemical releases we like to call “feelings” or “emotions.”
  
• Most of our actions are taken in order to emotionally feel the same way we did yesterday.
  

So why can’t you just stop being negative?
 

Because you have wired your brain and your body to think certain thoughts and have certain feelings. You have done this so well and for so long that those connections are stronger than ever.

Moving from negative to positive is a physical process.

Start to think of your brain as a garden.

Your job is to plant enough new thoughts, emotions and experiences that your current connections automatically get pruned away.  When your garden is full and vibrant, you will naturally start to remove some of the older, unhealthy plants that don’t serve your garden anymore.

In the neuroscience world (like in the gardening world) it is called pruning.  You see, you’re a human being and your nature is to be successful…you’re built that way.  With a little attention you can shift in the right direction.

Start small, chose to learn something new and begin to create new experiences in your life. Here are some ways to do this:

• Read up on a subject matter that interests you.
• Take a different route to work.
• Eat at a different restaurant.
• Start-up a conversation with someone new.

 
As we learn something new, we fire a new synaptic connection. As we experience something new, we get our body involved and feel differently. 

The more you gain new knowledge and experiences, the more you can wire and fire your brain with brand new connections.  The more you repeat your learning and experiences, the more current is sent to these new connections.

If your brain is busy wiring and firing your new thoughts, feelings and emotions, it is not signaling your old ones.

Your job from this day forward is to:

• Slow down.
  
• Pay attention.
  
• Learn, grow and expand.
  

This is how change is made and finally you can STOP being so negative.

To your future!

 

Find out more about Greg here.

 

Are you a high performer? Please tell us why below. 



This program will help you become an even better peak performer!

     Coaching In The Workplace



© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Women are better executives than men. Yep, I just said it. Now, I'll back it up!

• According to Business Insider women rank at 54.5 percent in “Overall Leadership Effectiveness,” with men ranking 51.8 percent.
• According to the same article in Business Insider, “Overall Female Effectiveness” increases significantly after the age of 40.

Yet...

• According to Forbes Inc. women currently hold 4.6 percent of Fortune 500 CEO positions and roughly the same percentage of Fortune 1000 CEO positions.

Hmmm…

So why, if women have a higher ranking in “Overall Leadership Effectiveness,” and they get better with age, are there so few women leaders? 

The answers are varied and, quite frankly, questionable. Anything from the standard work-life balance drivel to the "glass ceiling" for female executives.   The quote that jumps out for me is “women need to perform twice as well to be thought of as half as good.”  

So… are women tired of the battle?  I don’t think so…

The reality is that women are the ones to watch!  With their strategic ability, instinct for collaboration, and ability to invest in the teams around them, their rise is inevitable. 

One of their greatest traits is that women maintain the habit of asking for feedback and taking action to improve which makes them invaluable. Do most men? Not so much.

So for all you women out there…continue your path, take initiative, drive for results, know your worth, and lead on! 

For the men…you may want to make friends with your women colleagues so they remember you when they are at the top.

They are indeed a BIG deal.

To your continued success!

 

Please know that we are here to help!. You can find out how we can assist here.




© 2014 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

This is secretly one of the biggest fears of executives.  I know it was one of mine...the fear of being “found out” or exposed as the fraud I felt I was. 

What would happen if people found out that:

• I didn’t always have all the answers? 
• I didn’t always know what to do next?
• I was flying by the seat of my pants, hoping I was making the right decisions? 

To cope, I spent so much of my time being busy; juggling all the balls, hoping one wasn’t going to drop. Pretending that I was ten feet tall and bullet proof.  Trying to be everything to everybody so that I didn’t let anyone down.

• I was exhausted.
• I was scared.
• I was worried.
• I was fried…

Sound familiar?

I accomplished this juggling act for a great many years until one day I looked in the mirror and I said “you’re a fraud.”  I realized at that moment that I was living my life on other people’s terms, working for their desired outcomes, not mine.  

On the outside I looked like I had it all together.  I had built a wonderful reputation as someone who gets things done. I had built strong teams and developed relationships with peers that are still thriving to this day.  I created what I thought was confidence through lofty accomplishments. 

What I know now is all of that “stuff” was external to me.  I built a life that was external to who I am.  Everything my life was built on was based on my ego, my need to prove my worth. Oh, don’t forget the all important people pleasing that I was a champ at.

I was slowly but surely losing myself in the life I was building.  Day in and day out I was giving more of myself, emptying the tank.  If I hadn’t recognized this fact that lonely day in front of the mirror, I’m not sure where I would be today.

If this resonates with you in any way, then slow down and think...

When was the last time you spent any time in front of the mirror of your life?  I’m not talking about brushing your teeth, shaving or putting on your makeup.  I’m talking about really taking a look at yourself and the life you have built.  

When was the last time you asked yourself:

• Is this my life or is it someone else’s?  
• Am I operating from a place of personal integrity?
• Will I look back on my life with pride or regret?

If you are living this life like it’s truly yours, great! Keep building it.  If it’s someone else’s, don’t you think it’s about time you gave it back?

*******************************************************

Ever feel like an imposter, a fraud? Please leave your comments below. Let’s get this discussion out in the open!

And...

Did you know that all the way to the end of his illustrious career Jack Welch felt like an imposter? You’re in good company...



This program will help you become an even better leader!

     Coaching In The Workplace



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Are you really clear about what you want?

• Have you made a list?
• Have you set goals?
• Have you visualized your desires as being achieved already?

Thought so…

The odds were with me on this one.

You see…

• Only 3% of people set goals.

3%.

And, it gets better…

• Only 1% review their goals daily.

1%.

And the percentage of people who actually visualize achieving their goals?

Smaller than my mind can grasp (that means I couldn’t find research to back up any number).    ;-)

This is GREAT NEWS!

“What!,” you say?

It’s true…

Think about it for a moment…

If you actually crystallize your goals,

Then write them down,

Then visualize achieving them each day…

Guess what?

You will be at the top of the class!

You will do what most others don’t!

And, most importantly…

You will achieve all that you want!

And it starts with…

• Thinking the thoughts.
• Writing the thoughts down.
• “Seeing” the thoughts coming true.

You can carve out 5 minutes each day in order to achieve your dreams, right?

Thought so.

I just knew that you wanted to be a 1%-er!

I can “see” your desires coming true already…



This program will help you become a 1%-er!

     Coaching In The Workplace



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Truly...Are you dying to leave a good legacy?

Want to know how to do it?

So many of my clients are at the stage of their lives where their focus is on leaving a good legacy.  Isn’t this what all of us want? To be remembered fondly...to make an impact...to build something.

While these are very admirable goals (and ones that I find myself thinking of often), I have discovered that leaving a legacy means something slightly different for everyone. 

Most of us focus on building and creating so that when we are gone people remember us.  We focus on the external...not the internal.

What do people actually remember about us after we have moved on?  

Do they remember what we did...or who we were?

One of my clients mentioned that some of the most memorable individuals within the organization were not necessarily the top performers. The reason they are memorable is because they are a nice person who is kind to everyone. It’s about who they are vs. what they do.

Hmmm...

While this seems crazy to those of us who are driven to slay the big dragons, there may be something to this.

Leaving a legacy isn’t just about doing something, it is about being someone.  People don’t just remember what you did...they remember how you did it, and who you were while doing it. 

Legacy is about who you are being while accomplishing your tasks, it’s about interpersonal relationships. It’s about having an impact on the way people think. 

Life is so much bigger than our need to prove our worth...so much bigger than controlling a business outcome...so much bigger than just the bottom line. 

Life is really about being an inspiration to those around you through your actions.

Ask yourself:

• Who are you being each day? 
• What imprint are you leaving on others? 
• How do you make your contribution?

I have yet to attend a funeral where work accomplishments were the main focus. 

I know I want my eulogy to be about the positive impact I was able to make in people’s lives – and not just the bottom line. 

How about you?

Start to think about life as your vehicle to express who you truly are and the positive ripple effect you leave when you walk out of a room.  If your actions connect with another and inspire them in any way, you have left a positive legacy. 

You are leaving a legacy every single day of your life...in every moment. What legacy do you want to leave...starting today?

John F. Kennedy said: "There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable inaction.”

It is only by being “in action” that we can create the results we want in life, including the creation of an extraordinary life experience and results.

What keeps you from taking action?  

Generally it's because you try to be reasonable. You think it through.  You stick your toe in the water.  You check out how others react.  All very reasonable steps to take and I'm certainly not advocating that you do dangerous things.  It's just that by being reasonable you run the risk of being distracted by events that have more enjoyment or short-term importance and you get off the track toward what you really want to create.

The shift to commitment!

When you are committed you deal with what's most important to you in your life.  As my young adult children would say … DUHHH!  It’s so obvious!  

For example, imagine knocking on a house door and getting no response, though you feel certain someone is home. You wait a reasonable amount of time, then leave.

Now imagine there is a raging fire being wind driven across the yard towards that same house.  Your urgency, your compassion and demand for a result is engaged.  You bang on the door while shouting, "Fire! Get out!"  Your level of commitment brings action that brings the occupants quickly to the door and their lives are saved.

But what if there is no emergency in your life? What if no external force shouts you into action consistent with your priorities? Then where does your commitment come from?  

Creating an extraordinary life requires a 100% commitment. Not 99%. 

In practice, 99% is the same as zero.  Only 100% commitment will actually bring you the results you want in life.  Find a purpose, vision and the actions that deserve a 100% commitment and your entire experience of life will change.  Helen Keller said “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”  I suggest that her life is clearly a model of an extraordinary life we could all learn from.

A less serious metaphor is that a woman is either pregnant or not pregnant.  There’s no such thing as 99% pregnant.  In our lives, we are committed 100% or we are not.  There’s no “half committed.”

My commitment to you includes asking some pointed questions so that you can put these ideas into action:

• What are you committed to this month, this year, in your life?
• What life purpose or vision is so important to you that it engages you at physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels? 
• What promise would cause you to tingle with excitement and anticipation? 
• What idea would not let go of you until you figured it out? 
• What action would automatically bring forth overwhelmingly positive feelings of joy and satisfaction? 
• What commitment would mean so much that it would resonate within you at a very deep level; wake you up in the morning; engage you fully?

Comment and let us know of your commitments, your process and your results!  Doing so will help you get more clear, acknowledge yourself and inspire all of us!

Robert White is a Transformational Architect for business executives. Founder and CEO of Lifespring, ARC International and Extraordinary People, He’s an experienced entrepreneur, professional speaker, and leadership team trainer.


Want to learn more about gaining powerful leadership skills?

This program can help! Coaching In The Workplace



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.

Quick…

What one skill is the most important for a manager?

Are you sure?...

It’s coaching!

What about all the technical stuff? Spreadsheets, product knowledge, etc.?

It ALL takes a back seat to coaching.  Here’s why…

Human Capital (your people) is more important than all of the technical stuff combined. They are your most important asset. They are the biggest line item of your budget. Shouldn’t you treat them as the most precious asset that they are?

Huh? Have you really thought about that? Better start thinking now…

Because, according to a recent poll:

• 51% of your best people are actively looking for another job! The simple truth is that if you coached them they wouldn’t be.

• According to a recent Gallop Poll, employee engagement levels in North America are an abysmal 30%.

How much money do you think that is costing your firm?

• In the U.S. alone it’s costing organizations $360 BILLION a year!

Coaching can help with all of these issues…and if you have coaching skills it can help you look like a rock star!

According to a recent Harvard survey, "Coaching skills for managers is the most important skill required for success in the next 10 years."

Got it?

Now, what are you going to do about it?  It’s only your career…

 

This program can help! Coaching In The Workplace



© 2013 and beyond Executive Coaching University. All rights reserved.