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The Pushover vs. the Control Freak

Tuesday, 20 September 2016 02:09 Written by 

This quote leads us to the next pair of “opposite” personality types that might present a challenge for you, the mindful leader. Judging, blaming, or finding fault doesn’t usually help anyone, nor is it constructive. So, how can you lead these two personality types in a way that works for everyone involved? It helps to first understand the basic aspects of these personalities, so let’s begin with that.

The Pushover

Also known as people pleasers, this personality type has likely shown up many times in our lives, not to mention that a number of people who are empathetic by nature can slip into becoming a pushover. Though empathy is important no matter what your position is at work, don’t assume that it means you are a pushover.

So how do you lead someone who seems to be taking on too much, doesn’t want to speak up, and generally agrees with everyone? It’s important to remember that this personality type just wants to make everyone happy. Conflict doesn’t sit well with them at all, and if they can do anything to help keep the boat from rocking, they most certainly will.

Unfortunately, there is stress associated with this personality type, too, so managing how much they take on is a good way to make sure they’re functioning well. If there’s an issue, chances are they won’t confide in anyone they don’t trust, so building their trust in you, their leader, is critical for helping this personality type find their place and thrive in the work environment.

For this personality type, it’s also a good idea to help train them how to say no and keep from taking on too much. If they are empathetic, this can be difficult for some, but your leadership will help them to become better leaders as well… as long as they learn how to say no =).

The Control Freak

Typically perfectionistic and very hands-on, this personality type may have some tendencies toward being obsessive-compulsive. Though they are often perceived as controlling, bossy, or even mean, chances are that they just want to do the absolute best possible and they hold themselves and everyone else to impossibly high standards. If everything isn’t perfect, they may fly off the handle and yell at whoever they believe made any mistakes.

Though this may seem extreme, if they find out that they are the person who made the mistake, they will beat themselves up for it mercilessly. We are our own worst critics, and perfection is their goal (even though most of you already know that perfection is impossible).

For this personality type, it’s important to remember that perfectionism generally runs in a loop. First the perfectionist will be completely motivated, ready to take on the world and conquer the project before them with a very high level of energy. However, when things don’t go to plan or something falls apart, they tend to spiral into anxiety and depression, leading to their outbursts when something isn’t done “right.”

As a mindful leader, your job is to make sure they know that perfection isn’t required. In fact, perfection is pretty much impossible no matter what industry you’re working in. However, get to know the person you’re speaking to. Sometimes stating this outright may not work; they’ll be dead set on proving you wrong! However, if you find a way to show them that this is true (rather than telling them), they are much more likely to understand and take this message to heart.

Again, no matter what types of people you’re dealing with, remember that everyone has a purpose to serve, and chances are that their flaws are minor compared to what they bring to the table… sometimes what they bring to the table is just a little trickier to gain full access to. On that note, continue leading mindfully!

 

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