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What Have You Become?

Thursday, 21 March 2013 11:37 Written by  Greg Styles
Someone recently asked me- “What have you become?”

I sat there, collecting my thoughts, but the more I sat the deeper the question penetrated and the more uncomfortable I became. I started moving through each layer of roles I have played…of roles I play now.  But those aren’t what I’ve become…are they?

“What have I become?” I had never asked myself that question.

Sure, I was constantly asking myself “What do I want to become,” but that question inherently is rooted in the future, holding little in the way of accountability today.

Maybe my tendency to root my thinking in “What I will become” and developing plans to get “there” contributed to the grinding of my processing gears when asked this penetrating question.

As a coach and psychotherapist, I routinely assist people in developing that destination point in time where they want to be, and then together reverse engineering the course to get there. Yet, forcing me to look at the present, today…right now, offered me no cognitive refuge. I couldn’t escape the reality of now in the promise of tomorrow!

Is it important for all of us to have future destination points – our “goals” – to which we strive?  Of course!  But at what point does our focus upon the future create a self-perpetuating fantasy from which we never escape?

Are we leading our lives from a point of “becoming” or “being”?  Are we always living someplace other than in the present?

My colleague was tasked with the same question and very quickly responded “strength!”  Clear and beautiful in simplicity and power.  Hmmm…

I’m still working on my answer to this powerful question “What have you become”…maybe always will!

What is your answer?




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